šŸ  SBF Takes The Stand

Do you believe in miracles?

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šŸ  CRYPTO

SBF Speaks

Former crypto kingpin SBF is a man who likes risk. How else can you describe a man who was running possibly the biggest scam since Madoff?

But deciding to testify in his trial was risky even for his crazy ass. Sure, the trial hasnā€™t been going great for him with every member of the FTX inner circle testifying against him, but still. Opening yourself up to cross-examination? Iā€™ve seen enough Suits to know how this one goes. Poorly. Very poorly.

And to the surprise of literally nobody, thatā€™s exactly how it went.

Speaking before a courtroom without jurors (the judge wants to see if the testimony is admissible first), SBF:

  • Blamed FTXā€™s lawyers for everything from FTXā€™s reliance on Signal to the arrangement with Alameda that ultimately sank the ship.

  • Couldnā€™t identify where it says that Alameda is allowed to spend the money of FTXā€™s customers.

  • Answered questions in such a confusing manner that the presiding Judge said he has an ā€œinteresting way of answering questionsā€.

After 3 long and painful hours, SBF stepped off the stand. So now itā€™s up to the Judge to determine what is admissible ahead of round 2 on Friday.

Too Little, Too Late: The legal community consensus is that SBF is screwed. Heā€™s going to need to pull a miracle tomorrow if he wants to see freedom again anytime soon.

šŸ¤ THE LATEST INā€¦

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šŸŽ FINAL JEOPARDY!

This Final Jeopardy! question stumped every contestant. Can you get it right?

Category: Historic Letters

Clue: A letter from him begins, ā€œOn the thirty-third day after I had left Cadiz, I reached the Indian Oceanā€

šŸ’‰ DOPAMINE HIT

Bill, I know you have room for one more kid.

@phoebegates

Father-daughter bubble tea time.

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